She Begged Me Not to Marry Him

This Survivor Story Has Physical and Verbal Abuse Triggers

When I was 18, I ran off and eloped with my short term boyfriend before I left for boot camp. Everyone warned me about him. I was very good friends with his ex who begged me not to do it, but I was under the impression that she was making it all up so I would leave him. I was dead wrong.

We Moved In Together

He cheated on me with multiple other women while I was gone for those two months in boot camp. He didn’t even want to come see my graduation, but my parents practically forced him along. On graduation day, he admitted to the cheating, but promised to stop. I believed him.

Fast forward two months later when I got orders and we finally moved in together at my first duty station. He refused to get a job. He sat around in base housing all day while I was working, drinking, getting high, and playing video games. He would get irrationally angry with me when I would suggest putting in job applications at some of the local businesses.

When I would ask him to get rid of the drugs, he would threaten to leave me, even though having possession of drugs in base housing would have gotten us evicted had the office found out.

"The cops left without questioning him or asking about the marks on my neck and chest."

Cheating, Lying, and Physical Abuse

He started accusing me of sleeping with our mutual friend who was a married man. He would refer to him as my “pretty boy boyfriend”. When I would tell him I wasn’t sleeping with him, he would shove me and call me a liar.

I found out he was sleeping with our next door neighbor while her husband was deployed. She was also the person who was getting him the drugs. When I called him out on it, he choked me and started screaming at me. Our other neighbors called the cops. In my state, if there is a domestic dispute, it is required that one party is arrested. He was upstairs taking a shower when the cops showed up. I was covered in red marks. The cops asked what was going on and I told them we got into an argument but everything is okay.

They left without questioning him or asking about the marks on my neck and chest. Things like this happened a few times a week. Every time the cops showed up, they would leave without questioning both of us and without making an arrest.

He Almost Killed Me

After a few months of this going on, I caught him on video chat, masturbating with a 15 year old girl. I took the laptop out of his hand and he slammed me up against the wall. He threatened to kill me if I ever did something like that again.

I told him to get out of my house. He reached over and grabbed a beer bottle off the table. He smashed it on the corner of the table and held it to my throat. He dared me to make another noise. So I stayed quiet.

He left to go to the gas station and I called his best friend. I told him what happened and his friend told me to pack all of his things, set them outside on the front lawn, and lock the door with the chain lock so he couldn’t get back in. He was coming to pick him up to take him back home.

Get Help & Stay Strong

I only saw him a handful of times after that, all in public places, so he wouldn’t dare lay a hand on me.

I filed for a divorce, shut off his phone, and I was able to move on with my life. I was one of the lucky ones. Domestic violence is a terrifying thing. Physical and mental abuse should never be tolerated.

If you ever find yourself in a situation like my own, please call the domestic abuse hotline at 1-800-787-3224