FOR MY DAUGHTER

Survivor Stories

Almost 8 and a half years ago I left an abusive relationship. I left that relationship a few days after my daughter was born. I left with her and a suitcase of a few of our belongings. That's it. The days that followed the leave, really cemented in my decision, and a week after leaving, I filed for divorce.

When I think back about everything that happened during that time of my life, I'm amazed at what I thought I deserved. And that's the key word, "deserved". I thought I deserved the way I was being treated and didn't think I deserved anything better. I thought the way I was being treated was as good as it got, that it was a normal relationship… because love is pain right? As long as they say sorry, it's ok, because you're together.

"No one who loves you, would ever hurt you."

I now know that I was following a pattern, one that had been modelled to me. I found someone who acted exactly like my father. I now know that people carry trauma patterns forward with them, if they aren't aware of them. I now know that I don't deserve what happened to me. No one who loves you, would ever hurt you.
I left that abusive relationship because I didn't want my daughter to grow up seeing someone hurt her mother. I didn't leave for me, because I was still in love with my abuser when I left, I left for my daughter. But in doing that, I saved myself... And broke the cycle, one that my daughter would have otherwise likely lived through herself.
Looking back, it's amazing to see how far I have come. I haven't been hardened, or turned cold by these experiences, instead I have allowed them to build me up. I am now, the type of woman that I used to look up to, the one I needed when growing up and the one my children will model, so they too can be strong.

"You are not alone."

If you are currently in a situation where you are being abused, know that people who love you don't hurt you. You don't deserve it, and never have deserved it. If you are being hurt, in danger or live in fear of your abuser, please contact 1-800-799-SAFE or 911
Domestic abuse can happen to anyone. You are not alone.
Thank you to Amber for sharing her story. @thefairlylocalfamily is her Instagram.