Who are you?
Not just your name, a list of your hobbies, and your relationship status. Who are YOU, deep down at your core, when you’re all alone, without the noise of the world telling you who to be?
Only one person gets the final say in WHO you are, WHAT you’ll become, and HOW you will get there – and that’s you. And spoiler alert: you’re an incredible, badass human with a bright future ahead.
You’re Not Who They Say You Are
Since childhood, many outside influences have shaped your perception of who you are. Maybe it was your parents, who always wanted you to be a doctor or a lawyer. Or a religious institution that told you how women should and shouldn’t act, where women belong, and what our roles are. Perhaps it was a current or former partner who either intentionally or unintentionally forced you into a mold that doesn’t quite fit.
Or maybe, like many women, you’ve grown up with TV, movies, and popular culture trying to dictate who you are, how you should look, how you should act, and what you should aspire to be.
Pardon my French here, but screw that, and screw them.
You aren’t who they say you are. You are who YOU say you are. It’s your life, your mind, and your body – and you deserve to be seen wholly and completely for who you really are.
Who Are You?
I’m now in my 40s, and let me tell you, I didn’t know who I was until less than a decade ago. Sure, I had inklings of what made me tick – indications of the fire burning within me – but I didn’t let it out. I pushed my passion down, afraid I was “too much,” “too loud,” or “too outspoken.”
I let the opinions of others dim my inner flame until it almost went out.
But when I finally tuned out all the external noise, I could hear my own inner voice. The voice that told me who I am, what motivates me, and what moves me to be a better person.
I rediscovered my passion.
And let me tell you, there’s nothing quite like breaking free of those chains – all the expectations and assumptions of others – and saying, “This is who I am. Like it or not, this is what I’m about. I’m not going to hide any part of myself. I deserve to take up space. I’m going to live authentically, wholeheartedly, and unashamedly.”
The journey of self-discovery isn’t always easy. And in some ways, it’s a lifelong process. But if you look in the mirror and see a complete stranger, I encourage you to do some self-reflection:
- Who are you when you’re alone with your thoughts?
- What motivates you? What’s important to you?
- What do you want to do with your one precious life?
You might not figure it out right away. Most people don’t. But if you can tune out the noise and start to sluff off that mask put on you by society, family, religion, and your own shame, you will become the beautiful, fierce, passionate person you were always meant to be.
Who Do You Want to Be Next?
Not only do you get the final say in who you are now, but you also get to determine what you will become.
Set aside the goals placed on you by external influences. What do YOU want your future to look like? What career aspirations would use your skills and ignite your passions? Who do you want beside you – or do you even want someone beside you?
What do you want to do next? Who do you want to be next? How would your life be different if you grabbed onto that vision of the future and worked to make it a reality?
The beauty of life is that you have the power to decide.
When I left my first marriage, I was sort of aimless. I had a job, but I didn’t have a passion. It wasn’t until years later, with an incredible partner by my side, that I discovered what fanned the flame inside of me: encouraging and empowering women to become independent, strong, unstoppable forces.
But to achieve that goal, I first had to look at myself in the mirror and believe that I, too, am an independent, strong, unstoppable force. It’s a work in progress, but I finally feel like I know my reflection and understand what makes her tick.
You belong to yourself. No one else gets to determine your identity. So, embrace your whole self – every beautiful part of it – and be fully who you were always meant to be.
PS: Stay tuned next week for how you can use my identity strategy to help guide your decisions so you can achieve your goals.